I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
