Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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