don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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