I showed him my bush... on skype.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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