Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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