After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
