i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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