Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize