I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
