Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
