Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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