just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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