All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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