so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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