if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
