Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
