I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
