dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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