hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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