I am spending my child support on dildos
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
