Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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