is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
