kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
