either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
