i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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