i just had sex bonerless
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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