we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
