Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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