and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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