don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
