My underwear smells like fireworks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I want is dick and wine.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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