shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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