my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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