i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize