That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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