Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
