Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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