mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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