Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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