awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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