It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
