yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
