i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
