Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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