It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
