yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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