your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
