just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
