we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
