So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
