im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
