so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
