dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
