I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
