I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
