We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
