Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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