I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think your dad took our porno
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
