so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
