fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have post one night stand depression
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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